


Please Don't

by Finally_Home



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Marriage, Short, look i;m NOT bashing changmin okay, this was an old fic that i found in my notes app and i haven't posted anything in a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25133992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finally_Home/pseuds/Finally_Home
Summary: Changmin is getting married.
Relationships: Jung Yunho/Shim Changmin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	Please Don't

This is it.

The thought flashes through his mind with a terrifying finality, and his heart pounds against his chest, painfully tight.

No, this isn’t it. It can’t be, not after all he’s done to keep them afloat. Changmin’s not leaving; he’s only getting married.

He’s marrying a non-celeb, Yunho’s devil whispers. Don’t you think he’d rather settle down for a comforting domestic life with her? Rather than you working him like a dog?

I don’t work him like a dog. But Yunho doesn’t even believe himself. He’ll admit, he became less fun after the split, working both himself and Changmin to their limits. At the time, he hadn’t thought of anything other than keeping TVXQ alive, and it was only in hindsight that in his determination and hurt, he realized he might have driven Changmin away too.

Yet the boy had stayed, stayed for more than twenty years by his side, and now he’s gone.

He’s not gone, Yunho’s angel insists. He’s getting married and that’s all. He still cares about you, even appointed you his best man.

Ah, but he’ll never care for you the way you want him to. Yunho tries to banish the devil from his mind but fails. You love him, Jung Yunho, but he’ll only ever see you as an older brother, his family away from home. You’re pathetic, Yunho.

He is. Yunho glances at Changmin, waiting in front of the altar with eyes bright and excited. It hurts too much bear; how often had he seen those eyes look at him the same way? How long has it been since the boy had first looked at him with those eyes? And now they no longer look at him, not like that.

He wants to reach out, wants to grab Changmin in a hug and ask him not to marry her, to run away with him, to keep being TVXQ together, untainted, pure and together, but he can’t. His throat is stuck on a knot, but he knows that he wouldn’t be able to say the words anyway.

He values Changmin too much, and if Changmin’s happy, then he is too.

Or so he tells himself.

The music starts, and the bride floats down the aisle in a snow-white ballgown. The crowd gasps, and Changmin’s eyes fill with tears. Yunho manages to twist out a smile, hoping it looks genuine enough.

In this moment, he feels like the male lead from K.will’s Please Don’t, desperately in love with his best friend the groom yet unable to voice his true feelings. It would drive him away, Yunho knows, and then he’ll be alone, drowning in the dark.

He can’t lose him, not now, not ever. When the other three left, Yunho had sunk into a depression as deep as the ocean, sure that he would be left alone to the name of TVXQ. But Changmin had stubbornly stayed, worming his way into Yunho’s arms, wiping away his tears even as he cried himself.

He was Yunho’s saving grace, and now he is going to lose him.

The priest - a Buddhist one, for Changmin - announces that the bride and groom may kiss, and Yunho closes his eyes, feeling tears prick at them. He knows that no one would suspect anything, but it feels wrong. He should be happy, he should be happy, he should be happy.

Yet all he feels is a growing loneliness, gnawing at the hole in his chest where his heart should be.

He has lost him.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at the airport going back to school after winter break lol so of course it's going to be short and shitty.
> 
> i want to once again clarify that I AM HAPPY FOR CHANGMIN!!! he's found someone he wants to be with for the rest of his life and let's face it, even if he and yunho were gay for each other, societal pressures wouldn't have let them be together anyway.
> 
> i am of course not going to stop shipping them, nor am i going to stop writing tvxq fics. if you want to learn more about my stance on this topic, feel free to check out [my blog post](https://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/1291218) on aff.
> 
> i'll be coming out with a longer tvxq piece (ft other sm ppl) sometime around august, so pls look forward to that uwu


End file.
